The writing prompt was tell something about yourself and all I wonder is which Self would like to speak? As there is not one Self, but a multitude.
Would you like to meet the seven year old Protector of Sisters? Standing up for her sister when she could not. Protecting her from a Father’s anger to her dying breaths in an ICU bed. How about the ten year old Innocent? Her innocence shattered in the Colorado Mountains. The fifteen year old Rebel Princess who used niceness and smiles to hide her pain, crying herself to sleep at night. We cannot leave out the 26 year old Grief Rider. Who found the greatest learning lessons come from Death, himself. There are others: The Mother, Lover, Goddess, Mystic, or Shaman, How about The Leader, Victim, Follower, Whore, Beggar or Bitch? The Philosopher, Seeker or Rocker Chick. Tell me, who do you want to know? I change masks with a flick of the wrist. I AM the ShapeShifter. Shifting piece to piece, mask to mask, part of a puzzle. Untangle the riddle of Me.
Should you get past The Guardians and take the journey to me are you ready for what you find? Will I impress or distress? When you find I refuse to be what you think or need. What happens when the mask is removed and you see the truth shining differently from what you need? Will you love me anyway? Do I trust you enough to remove all the masks and just BE? Ultimately, the question is, do you trust me to BE free? From your projections and needs. Tell me, tell me, will you love me anyway? Is this the Self I can allow you to see? The Un~Masked me?
Oh, Nancy, this is an excellent post about YOURSELF, with all your selves reaching out. Yes, dear Un-Masked You, I would love you anyway, partly because one of MY selves would probably reach out to the similar one in YOU. Your 7-year-old self was brave, and I ache to know how your sister died. My innocence was lost even younger than ten, but maybe not in the same way yours was.
Crying yourself to sleep reminds me of my little sister, who would cry if she realized she couldn’t possibly fall asleep before Daddy got home and she would, once again, have to hear the arguments. I’m a philosopher, too, but let’s both throw away the “victim” label and stand tougher because we KNOW what we would rather not know. As one seeker to another, I’m holding out my hand for yours, and we can go hand in hand into the future and know we are not alone in this world.
I agree with Bonnie - all are pieces of the Nancy we know and love and even if you separated them out, they’d all come back to form one whole, awesome woman.
We all have “faces” we show (and some we don’t) - your courage in showing some of those you keep well hidden means you are ready to let those pieces go (uh, I don’t know who that comment came from but it wasn’t in my head when I started the sentence but it makes sense to me now that I write it down.) So, thank those masks for teaching you lessons, and let them go.
That’s the beautiful thing about women. We can take on so many selves. I don’t see men having that versatility to the extent that we do. Finding both strengths in ourselves and admitting our weaknesses is so empowering. Knowing that we can be both strong and soft when we have to be. I’m glad I’m a girl.
Perfect! I am struck when I face an about me page or when tackling a meme, or school assignment that deals with my individual self.
I am always hesitant to speak of the many events positive and negative that have molded me, and the many roles that I have assumed and will assume in my lifetime.
I tend to leave poetic hints rather than the straight story, I have often contemplated telling my story in fiction but then the permanence and power of words stops me short.
If we are to say My life sucks, for example, there is a negative affirmation of shorts. If one is to say I lived through this soulfully destructive experience what will the response be? I abhor pity, have gotten past the game of blame and struggle to express my story without these clingers attached.
I thank you for your warm comments on my post: The Message, and it is nice that as a new reader it was your introduction.
I have added your blog to my reader and look forward to learning and connecting with you in the future.
Be well and enjoy the day.